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Mental Illness & My Road To Recovery
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lawyer_scum's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 11th, 2012
7:45 pm
I'm getting tired of Facebook. I'm returning to LiveJournal after being away for several years.

Current Mood: stressed
Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
6:37 am
Still working on the same mental health issues
It's been many years since my last post. I will return later this evening and decide about resuming posting on Live Journal.
Friday, September 9th, 2005
10:10 pm
It Has Been a While
A lot has happened since my last entry, most of it good. My struggle with my bipolar is making progress and my grades in college are improving. I have strung together two back-to-back semesters of straight "A" grades.

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
1:41 am
One Of My Favorite Law Profs Leaving School At End Of Term
One of my favorite law professors is leaving the college at the end of this term. She’s been teaching legal research, legal writing, and constitutional law in the law program here at St. Mary’s College for about seven years. A law firm in Arizona has just hired her husband and they are moving there. More about this later.
1:28 am
Got a Job Offer
At lunch today my cell phone rang. An employment-staffing firm in San Francisco saw my resume on Monster.com and offered a job interview with a company that provides real estate debt consolidation services. The employer is looking for people with legal and real estate experience. I have two reservations about proceeding with an interview: 1.) The almost exclusive job description of telephone marketing; 2.) The over 100-mile daily commute. I’m giving thought to the job offer because of the mid five-figure base salary.

My main concern is I do not want to get derailed from my evening study of law at Saint Mary’s College.

Let’s see what else pops up in the next few weeks.

Current Mood: listless
Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
12:02 am
Civil Procedure Lecture
I have this one woman in my Civil Procedure class from New York City. She’s the most rabid N.Y. Yankee fan I have ever met. She is still extremely crestfallen over the Boston Red Sox World Series victory. The professor for civil procedure graduated from the law school at Boston University, which is where I did most of my undergraduate work.

Miss New York City is venomous and highly provocative over any subject that even mentions Boston. The opening night of Civ. Pro. Lectures the prof commented he graduated from the Boston University Law School and I watched Miss New York bury her head on her desktop and moan something inaudible. Later, she took occasion to argue some inane point on Tort Reform Law with venom dripping from her lips. She has a natural mean streak. This really bothers me because I find her physically attractive and look forward to seeing her in class.

Current Mood: contemplative
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
11:36 pm
Back From The Void
Dear Journal,

I went away for a while. Financially speaking, subsistence has been very difficult. I’m living off federal student financial aid. After tuition, books, and rent, is paid I have less than $300 a month in discretionary income. The search for a part-time job continues. I have applied for over a dozen paralegal/legal positions and have not received any responses yet.

Besides the bleak financial situation, everything else is going well. My, grades are improving, mother is well and I have started talking to my younger brother after nearly 10 years of voluntarily imposed disconnection.

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
4:08 pm
Law Briefs
It’s been a couple of weeks since my last update. My first two weeks of law are nearly overwhelming-Contract, Torts and Legal Research. A typical assignment is to read Chapters 1, 2, and 3 and brief all the cases in Chapter 3. I don’t know how to brief a case.

Current Mood: indifferent
Friday, January 9th, 2004
12:55 pm
Thank You Fallen Flower

Thank You Fallen Flower


>Thanks for stopping byCollapse )</SPAN

Current Mood: grateful

Thursday, January 8th, 2004
10:26 am
I met the cows of Saint Mary’s College

I was the butt of a practical joke last night.


The rest of the storyCollapse )

Current Mood: rejuvenated

Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
2:30 pm
School Daze

Tomorrow, Wednesday 6 ,2004 will mark my first day of participation in the law program at Saint Mary's College. I'll meet my law professors- a few from Boalt Hall (UC Berkeley Law) and one from Boston University</st1:placetype></st1:place> (my old school) Law. Plan's for the rest of the dayCollapse )

Current Mood: good

Monday, January 5th, 2004
9:44 pm
Good night all!
Sweet dreams to everyone.
3:55 pm
Bad Dreams of Late

My Live Journal is starting to disturb me. Why are my dreams constantly about conflict and running?


Time to eat chocolate before bedCollapse )

Current Mood: sleepy

3:55 am
Dream Journal
My dream journal reflects a lot of insecurity. Hmmmm...better talk to my shrink about this.
Sunday, January 4th, 2004
11:47 pm
Monday, Jan 5 / Dream # 2

I have volunteer work at the Korean Community Center East Bay today (www.KCCEB.ORG). I’m repairing their neglected computer network. So far, I’ve fixed six workstation and removed over 200 viruses. I feel needed there. I won’t be home till a little before 6:00 p.m. PST.

Dream # 2 (Sunday, Jan 12, 2004 10:52 p.m. PST)

Dream # 2Collapse )

Current Mood: distressed

7:15 pm
A Light In the Woods


I believed that the woods are not tenantless, but chockfull of honest spirits as good as myself any day-not an empty chamber, in which chemistry was left to work alone, but an inhabited house-and for a few moments I enjoyed fellowship with them.”


Henry David Thoreau

Main Woods, A Light In The Woods

Current Mood: contemplative
12:29 pm
Killing Time & Injuring Eternity

I have some time on my hands and keep thinking of the quote:

"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. The masses of men lead their lives of quiet desperation . . .  “

Henry David Thoreau
Walden Pond “Economy

Can one “kill time without injuring eternity?” Is using idle time to reflect, think, read and write “killing time” and injuring eternity?

I guess a scale of measure would be priorities a reasonable person would set. There have been times when my high priority was to get home in time to watch the Simpson’s at 7:30 p.m. Ahhh I hear it calling me now, “ thaaaw simmmpsonss ♪♫♫♪”- ahh cartoon bliss. Coming soon: “My priorities this year.”

Current Mood: thoughtful
Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
6:23 pm
Something Healthy For Dinner

I'm eating romaine salad for dinner. This is so unlike me. I think the bad dream I had earlier today came from snacking on nachos while studying. The jalapeño rings and thick cheese sauce must have given me the nightmares.</span>


Ahhh salad, I'll be peaceful little bunny for the rest of the night. Don't need jalapeño and thick cheese sauce rumbling through my bowels.




Current Mood: amused
10:48 am
I Had a Dream

While attempting to study . . . I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Just like that song by Boston. “I closed my eyes and I slipped away.” The big breakfast probably did not help keep me awake.


I had a very weird dream. I think I saw the movies Spiderman too many times (once). Here’s what happened:


I’m naked and carrying a florescent yellow gym bag in my right hand (I have a bag like this I take to the gym). I’m able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I’m running from something, I don’t know what it is but I have to keep running fast. I’m breathing heavy. It’s a cold clear moonless night.


 I come upon a castle like hotel (reminded me of the Excalibur Hotel Casino in Las Vegas – a place I do not particularly like) and take a giant leap then I’m up on the rooftop. I’m still naked and I’ve smelly pooped (bathroom activity #2) myself. I reach into my yellow bag to get cleaned up and put some cloths on. I look around and there’s a large rooftop restaurant with nothing but clear glass walls everywhere. The tables have linen with lit candles and looks very romantic.


An older man at a table sitting with wife, both distinguished looking, both over 60 years-old, see me and they scream . . . “Terrorist!” (for some reason I thought they were college professors)


Naked, dirty and having been discovered,  I run to the roof’s edge and discover my powers are gone. I jump and start falling. I keep trying to grab onto the wall as I slide by;


Suddenly this dream stops and two real life personal associations (people) from a community center where I’m doing volunteer work show up and tell me I am no longer needed for service to the community by saying something like, “ We now know all about you now and there is no place for you here. You may no longer serve the community.”


I can’t take the shame of this and wake up. My heart was racing.

Current Mood: amused
5:30 am
Last Night I Played Video Games

I started studying for my continuing education courses to renew my real state license. After about 45 minutes I took a break and played "Age of Mythology" until bedtime.

Took my "ambien" mediation last night and slept much better. Ambien is the only sleep medication I have taken allowing me to "dream" and have "rapid eye movements (rem)" correctly.

Still a little nervous about the house I'm suppose to rent by the college. The lady has not returned my phone call. Hope she does not flake out. She was kinda old and goofy.

I'm going to attempt to study for my real estate exam.


Current Mood: rejuvenated
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